“To Touch the Face of God”

I was in the fourth grade the first time I soared upward on a plane. The billowing bouncy looking clouds were a magical playground beckoning me to come and play. Gazing out the window, my 10-year-old mind wondered if this is what heaven looked like and if God’s throne was sitting on one of the puffy cotton balls just outside the window.

To this day, there is something about going up that creates a sense of nearness to God and heaven in my heart. I’m not sure why I feel that way, but when I read in Exodus 34 about Moses meeting God on Mt. Sinai and coming down from the mountain with a glowing radiance, or Jesus, Peter, John, and James encountering the Lord on Mt. Transfiguration, I yearn to go up and be closer to Him too.

 Up

January 28, 2021, marked the 35th anniversary of a time I wanted to go up to heights very few experience. Everything about NASA’s Teacher-in-Space program lit up my heart. I jumped at the chance to become the teacher/astronaut on the Challenger mission headed toward the heavens. While reviewing the application, I discovered I was one year short of the teaching experience NASA required.

Heart Reframed

Crushed, knowing I wouldn’t qualify to fly on Challenger’s last scheduled mission, the Lord was near and “reframed” my heart. Gravity and lack of experience would keep my feet grounded, but my heart would still take flight with the crew. God had a mission for me on Earth.

With my heart reset, I got busy creating a giant space shuttle to hang in the classroom. My students made a paper chain, counting down to the big day. We studied the planets and prepared experiments to match the ones scheduled to take place in orbit. Of all of our preparations, the kids loved tasting astronaut ice cream the best.

On January 28, 1986, space shuttle Challenger roared to life on the launch pad with teacher/astronaut Christa McAuliffe and six other crew members on board.

Countdown and Launch

My students and I were bursting with excitement on launch day. A quick roll call and then we hurried to the library, trying our best to not run in the hall. We were racing to huddle around the only TV, sitting high above our heads on a rolling cart.

With classic 4th grader exuberance, we shout counted down backward, echoing Hugh Harris at Mission Control. 10, 9, 8… 3, 2, 1, liftoff! The kids, unable to contain their joy, leaped to their feet like little mini rockets cheering and celebrating the historic lift-off from Kennedy Space Center. It was not a quiet day in the library!

Disaster

In an instant, our celebration froze in stunned silence, as if they were playing freeze tag at recess. However, this was not a game. Just 73.137 seconds after liftoff, a cloud of fire engulfed Challenger. The fuel tank had collapsed and torn apart at an altitude of 48,000 feet (9miles/15KM).

We stared at the TV, waiting and hoping somehow the crew survived in the smoke trail falling back toward earth. Within minutes, television coverage cut away. We walked back to the classroom in a daze of disbelief. Our space shuttle hanging on the classroom wall with its red, orange, and yellow crepe paper streamers was eerily familiar to what we had just witnessed.

Silent Prayers

Stunned silence and grief gave way to tears and questions in the sanctuary of our classroom. As a public school teacher, my prayers traveled up without a sound. God’s nearness and love poured down, helping to hold my broken heart together. My mission from the Lord was for this moment. He gave me a room full of tiny hurting hearts to minister to. 

We shared hugs, tears, and used box after box of tissues as we sat close in a circle. There was a shared tenderness for one another that exceeded their years. With no playbook for days like this, in the afternoon we slipped outside for an extra recess. Instead of rushing to the tetherball, foursquare or swings, all eyes paused, looking up. Hope lingered, but the sky was empty of everything except clouds and a sense the Lord was near.

Communication was different in 1986. It wasn’t until arriving at home and turning on the evening news we had the next official update. Eight long hours of wondering, hoping, praying, and holding out the faintest glimmer of hope ended at 5:00 PM when the President addressed the nation, including the school children. He quoted from the poem “High Flight,” unaware Christa McAuliffe had carried a copy of that very poem on the shuttle with her. They recovered the crew cabin and the remains in March-nearly 3 months later.

No Rocket Required

As much as I love up, I’m on an ever-growing journey of realizing God’s presence, the Holy Spirit is with me always, wherever I am. In Hebrews 13:5b He promises to never leave us under any circumstance. I especially love the Amplified version where God’s promise ends with “assuredly not!”

You and I don’t have to go up. God is just as close to us on earth as He was to Christa McAuliffe and the Challenger crew nine miles up. He is near in our joy and in our broken-hearted sorrow. The Holy Spirit lives within us, even with our feet planted on solid ground.

I would still jump at the opportunity to launch into space. However, I know without a doubt I wouldn’t be any closer to “touching the face of God” than I am right now.

He is with me.

He is with you.

Thirty-five years later, Challenger, we remember you and your crew. Revisiting the memory once again points our hearts to the face of God.

 Mission accomplished.